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. .The sun-dappled Martha’s bare legs with spots of light and shadow, the wind kept the leaves moving. There was a small opening that angled the sun on this spot for a while. She loved that discovery. She could simply sit there and think for a few hours before the setting sun told her it was time to go home. By the time she got home, Dad was usually there, so Mom wouldn’t try and ‘talk’.She laid her head back and closed her eyes. The noise of the forest, the warmth of the sun, and peacefulness of this spot did more for her than any talk could possibly do. All the tension she felt all day slowly bled from her body. The looks at school, while they were getting less and less, were still aggravating. Her guidance counselor kept trying to set her up an appointment, which was even more annoying. A few of her teachers were still solicitous but were getting used to her pretty much ignoring it. None of them realized how she felt or why she felt the way she did.Here she could put it all aside.. Then, almost five years ago, I met Sarah- the woman who would change mylife forever, and for the better. Suddenly, hair, fashion and make-upbecame a regular part of my life as I'd spend weekend after weekenddressed as 'Nikki', but I'd always dream about what it'd be like tonever have to stop being 'Nikki'. And then, three years ago, I never didstop being Nikki, even after Sarah and I had entered into a sexualrelationship.My whole life for the past five years has felt like a long string ofdreams coming true. Becoming a ballerina, becoming a model, a minorinternet celebrity in my own right, gaining the female friends I longedfor for so long, getting engaged... Living life, and loving life as awoman. And as of now, that journey is complete. My penis- the one thinganchoring me to my old life as a man- has been removed to make way forthe genitals I SHOULD have. I have been metaphorically and literally cutfree.However, I know deep down that whilst this may seem like the end of along.
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